Sometimes, the best humor comes in short, clever stories with unforgettable punchlines. These three classic jokes have been shared for years because they never fail to make people laugh. From heaven’s gates to a luxury car dealership and a hospital recovery gone wrong, each story delivers humor in the most unexpected way.
Here are three funny short stories guaranteed to brighten your day.
1. The Three Police Officers at the Pearly Gates
Three police officers found themselves standing in line at the Pearly Gates, waiting to be questioned by Saint Peter.
Saint Peter looked at the first officer and asked, “What did you do during your life?”
“I was a police officer,” the man replied proudly.
“What kind of officer?” Saint Peter asked.
“I worked vice. I kept drugs off the streets and out of the hands of kids.”
Saint Peter smiled warmly. “Welcome to heaven. You may enter.”
He turned to the second man. “And what did you do?”
“I was a traffic officer,” he answered. “I kept the roads and highways safe for everyone.”
“Excellent,” Saint Peter nodded. “You may also enter.”
Then he faced the third officer.
“And you, what kind of police officer were you?”
“I was a military policeman, sir,” the man replied.
Saint Peter’s eyes lit up with excitement. “Oh, wonderful! I’ve been waiting for you all day!”
The officer looked pleased.
Saint Peter continued, “I need to take a break. Watch the gate for me, will you?”
2. The Porsche That ‘Smelled Funny’
A young woman walked into a high-end luxury car dealership filled with Porsches, Lamborghinis, and Jaguars. She walked straight up to a shiny red Porsche and said confidently, “I’ll take this one. I’m paying cash.”
She pulled bundles of cash from a large bag and counted it out without hesitation. The salesman quickly finalized the sale.
Two days later, she returned.
“I want my money back,” she said firmly. “It smells terrible when I use the brakes.”
Not wanting to lose the sale—especially since the cash had already been quietly processed—the manager offered to take a ride with her to investigate.
He climbed into the passenger seat.
She sped out of the lot like a race car driver, shifting gears aggressively. At 55 mph she dropped into second gear. At 80 mph, third. She screeched into a country road, accelerating wildly.
120 mph. 145 mph. 170 mph.
The manager was pressed into his seat by the force, terrified.
Ahead, a railway crossing barrier began lowering. He sighed with relief, thinking she’d finally slow down.
Instead, she accelerated even more.
At the very last second, she slammed on the brakes. The car stopped inches from the barrier.
She calmly turned to him and asked, “Can you smell it?”
He shouted, “SMELL IT?! I’M SITTING IN IT!”
3. The Near-Death Makeover
A middle-aged woman suffered a heart attack and was rushed to the hospital. While on the operating table, she had a near-death experience and found herself standing before God.
“Is this it?” she asked.
God replied, “No. You have another 30 to 40 years to live.”
When she woke up, she had a new perspective on life.
She decided to stay in the hospital and make the most of her future. She had a facelift, liposuction, breast augmentation, tummy tuck, and even changed her hair color.
Weeks later, feeling like a brand-new woman, she walked out of the hospital—only to be hit by a speeding ambulance and killed instantly.
She found herself standing before God again.
“I thought you said I had 30 to 40 more years!” she protested.
God looked at her carefully and said,
“I’m sorry… I didn’t recognize you.”
